Katt Scan

To some people...this tree looks like a tree.

To me...it always looked like a brain.

It's a question of our perception.

Such busy brains we have...

You mentioned praying...or not praying.

Call it what you like...we all want to be heard. No one wants to feel they are alone in the universe.

If you want to pray to a fictional character...why not pick one from Star Trek? Data is my main man...he represents the one true religion...science/logic, and he is not so insecure that you cannot have other gods before him.

There are as many gods as atoms and molecules. Hell, pray to yourself. If the wheelchair physics chap is correct...then everything that exists does so as a result of the whims and vagaries of our cerebral cortex.

So maybe tonight...ask your brain to meditate on some of that. I'm not saying I'm right...but I am saying if you are indeed a product of my consciousness...then I'm pretty sure I didn't manifest you to be sad or unhealthy.

I conjured you up so you could be the god of your own world...to have it all...just exactly as you like it.

I conjured you...so you could conjure me.

& Indeed everyone around you. And everything.



You can have anything you want. The possibilities are endless...

because that's the way we made it.


For Katt...

Explorer XIII

 

Yay. 

 

We just found another planet we can bugger up. 

 

I'm glad it's too far away. 

 

I'd want our species a little more evolved before I'd send us anywhere near another pristine environment...

 

We have plenty of work to do right here. 

 

On ourselves. 

 

 

 

That's the kind of exploration we should be chasing...    

London Calling

MAY 3, 1991: The bodies of Margaret Penny and Claire Acocks were found in Old London Coiffure salon in Portland, murdered in cold blood.  

In broad daylight. 

Not a day goes by where I don't think of these poor ladies.  I walk past the place most days. 

These were ordinary small town ladies, just like your mother...just like mine. 


And their only crime...cutting and styling people's hair. 


Ladies...god failed you. 

justice...hopefully...will not. 


 
RIP... 

No Butts.

Someone was nasty to me again...& I wrote a long essay detailing all the things that hurt me...& how upset I was, I added a little bit about my human rights, and how I was offended, and insulted and blah blah blah-de-blah...

& you know what?  I thought, instead of bitching...why not have a big laugh at myself?  So...I found this picture I have been hiding since last year, me, getting up from my TV channel changing spot...so self conscious.  

my FAT legs, my FAT belly, my FAT head...I felt SO scaredy scaredy scared!  Oh NO!!  Someone might see my big fat legs, my big fat belly and my big fat head!!   

It's nonsense.  We go on with some crap, don't we?  

John? Mate...you are fat because YOU ATE TOO MUCH FOOD AND FAILED TO SUPPLEMENT YOUR WRITING WITH MORE WALKING!   

NO ONE GIVES A SHIT!  ABOUT HOW YOU LET YOURSELF GO, or THAT YOU HAVE A STUPID HEAD, OR ANY OF THAT!  IF THEY CARE ABOUT ANYTHING...IT'S NOT YOUR ACTUAL HEAD!  IT'S WHAT'S IN IT!  DAMN!!  

& my belly?  Oh belly...'I really want to see you...i really want to be with you, but it takes so long...my lord...my sweet...belly...(sorry, George Harrison...it just popped in there...)  But he's right!  Buddha had a big BELLY!  

& he was the wisest dude on the planet!  

Forget your gripes, and woes, forget all your bullshit...all your hurt feelings and grazed anus...

HAVE SOME FUN!!

So...l had a good belly laugh at my FAT legs, my FAT belly, my FAT head...& laughed until all the BUTT-HURT went away!!  


We take ourselves SO seriously, don't we?  Get involved in these little skirmishes so easily?  & they don't mean anything; not really.  

We only think they do.  

From now on...whenever I find myself taking myself too seriously, I'm going to change the channel.  

& I'm gonna look at this picture, me with my big fat legs, and my big fat belly, and my big fat head...& I'm going to have a good fat LAUGH at myself.  


& I will remember...I'm only here for a cup of coffee.  


& if the going gets tough...

the TOUGH HAVE A GOOD BELLY LAUGH!!  

Three Strikes

After all this time on planet earth, I know only three things for sure.  

Number 1:  My number 1 doesn't smell anywhere near as bad as other people's.  

Number 2:  See number 1. 

Number 3:  If I have to remember three things at a time...I can never remember the last one.       

Open Mind Club

No, I'm not gay, thank you, I think I would know by now; I don't care much for cock...except my own, and that's only so I can pop it in lovely loving lady places from time to time.

BUT...I have enjoyed the company of gay people...they know how to laugh at...pretty much everything, including themselves. I think most of them extract more from a day than most of us get from an entire life.

I noticed...I can breathe in a place full of gays, because they know what it is to FIGHT for who they are.

It's an old fashioned thing called 'guts'.

They might touch your bottom...but I don't mind it. I feel safe enough...it's all in fun. Harmless tomfoolery.

I don't mind having my bottom pinched...I don't lose my fuckin' mind over and it reach for my bazooka...I feel flattered. I know who I am, what I like...but I have a little extra room for others who think differently.

We straight people are so uptight many of us just miss the fuckin' show completely.

Not all gays are love and light...I'm sure some of them are uptight, bitchy, catty...overly camp...whatever...

but I never met them.

But I have met plenty of straight cocksuckers.

Gays? They know how to party, and they party like it's 69 69.


If you think I'm wrong? Call me out. I'll show you toontown, doubting thomas.

Careful though, you might have a thing called 'fun'.


If I could meet a woman who had the verve, life, soul and passion of a gay...I'd be in pig heaven.

Now, if only I could meet a nice pig...

gáire mo thóin amach...

Thanks Linkel Mirtschin...a real waltz down memory lane. Yikes...I look like Shane McGowan in the first one! Don't remember dad knocking out quite so many teeth! However, I do remember a lot of rum, sodomy and the lash, much akin to McGowan. Thanks for helping me laugh about it. I guess being a descendant of Shakespeare...I have a soft spot for drama. AND comedy. I reckon if we can just laugh at our aches and pains and woes...we are almost there.