'80 Steps to Jonah'. Indeed, it WAS the
first, if you don’t count ‘Wizard of Oz’ & ‘Sound of
Music’, which I saw at school, in a shitty old hall. They were very neat, sure, but not my first.
I’m pretty sure 'Jonah' was the
first actual cinema experience.
Although, it might have been ‘Jason and
the Argonauts’- I’m not sure. My mind is fuzzy. & I might be revising history, saying what I should say was my first, rather than what was.
Don't know why I do that; all I can say is, the memory of a child can be patchy. Let's just say...it was 'Jonah', and leave it at that. Anyway,
the point is, even then, I knew there was something very special
going on. Sure, it was probably a pretty crappy movie- doesn't look much chop from the trailer, and I haven't seen it in it's entirety since...but for me, it seemed pretty damned magical. All sorts of possibilities revealed themselves to me as a damaged young fellow, looking for an out.
It just looked...larger than life.
I don't care how bad the movie was- it was just...special.
At that time in my life, I'm sure a lot of stuff looks worse now than it did then. Although not everything.
In any case- from that moment, over time cinema has become a passion. I didn't manage to make much of my own stuff, but I can watch the hell out of other people's.
One thing I can say for sure- your passion can be
your best friend, or your worst enemy. But you can say that about anything in life; everything has it's good points, and it's bad. & how you look at things, what is good and what is bad, depends on the person, and their perspective. I've got some good in my life, and an awful lot of bad. Was it worth it? To be honest- I’m
not sure;
you see, it’s not over yet.
You
never really know for sure until it’s all over, and you take a look
at the score card, what was useful, and what was not.
What you could have done better- and what you fucked up.
It’s
like...you just never know. You follow your instinct- & just
HOPE your instinct is intact to the point where it keeps you on track. Not everyone is so lucky. It often looks clear...after the fact. 'Life
must be understood backward but lived forward'.
Nary
a truer word spoken; if only we had this etched into our brains from
the off. Maybe all our lives, the world, would be different.
Better.
Better.
Or
maybe not...
But if you're reading this?
There's still hope..
You can do anything.
It's just a matter of how you look at it...
Where you point your mind.
& what you do about it...
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