Word is the Word...

I think one of the problems is with the language;

 

like the use of the words 'spiritual awakening' when in fact what we are talking about for many- including me- is a major upheaval of an aggregate collective pattern of behaviour doesn't quite cut it.

The fact is, I am the latest in a long line of men who have behaved badly and failed miserably.   No secret there, you know all this. I made a commitment to try to at least attempt to overcome this; it might be genetic, and the evidence points to it; as Dawkins said,

 

“Be warned that if you wish, as I do, to build a society in which individuals co-operate generously and unselfishly toward the common good, you can expect little help from biological nature.”

So, technically, it’s not your fault.  And if Dawkins is correct, and to be good goes against our nature, why argue with nature?? 

 

Perhaps this is just the way things are meant to be.

No sir...I don't like it.  If you claim to love your fellow man as I do, & you are serious about change, then you owe it to yourself to speak back to your genes. 

Again, Dawkins;  “Let us try to teach generosity and altruism, because we are born selfish. Let us understand what are our selfish genes are up to, because we may then at least have the chance to upset their designs, something that no other species has ever aspired to.”

 

So, it's really about evolution, isn't it?  It's a question of taking evolution by the throat and making it work.  Not just sitting back and hoping it will...park and pray mentality...but actually taking an ACTIVE INTEREST in your own evolution, performing an intervention on yourself, whatever you want to call it. 

 

One line I did like in 'Batman Versus Superman'...

 

"If life doesn't make sense- FORCE it to. "

 

Force your own evolution.  MAKE it happen.

 

It's a tough job, sure, unlearning generations of patterned behaviour.  Look, I'm not sure if I speak only of my own masculine patterns, whether I share these patterns in common with a large number of men.  I simply don't know.  There are good and bad men, just as there are good and bad women.  But SOMETHING is not working.    

 

And the language does not help.  

If all my stuff was just a collection of words for their own sake, then it would be self indulgent, wanting to be the thing, but only talking about it.  Talk talk talk.  Talk is cheap, unless you work one of those sex hotlines.  But words can be useful.  Crucial. 

Well…sadly…that is just the way it is. It is something we just have to talk- write our way through.

Because there is a saying- thoughts are things. So if thoughts are things, imagine how powerful words are!!

& words become actions.

So, if you make your thoughts, your words right- your actions will follow.

& I do this here with my friends because…

No one can do anything of value alone.

But I am serious about effecting change in my self and my behaviour through my words. 

If that is the case, then I need to scrutinise the language with the same degree of care that I do my own soul. 

Words like 'transcendence' & 'soul evolution' are problematic; they seem to say something about the destination, but describe little about the journey; how to get there.  They talk about wishing on a star, attaching your dreams to a star, but they say very little about the practical work that needs to be done.

That is my problem with the movie “I AM”. 

I wish we could all sit around cross legged, hold hands, and meditate our way into bliss, personal satisfaction and world peace. 

But life does not work that way.  Especially for someone like me who is holding himself to account for not only my OWN conduct, but generations of crappy behaviour. 

And for someone like me to shift that...

It's about language. 

Pardon my French, but I am descended from a shower of cunts. I have no choice but to use this kind of immediate language, because there really is no other word that better describes the family line. 

Especially my father.  & I would imagine, me.  It's not the best resume you ever saw, & I realise being raped and tortured as a child doesn't help matters much, but I didn't even have the courtesy to top myself early on.  I dragged myself from fiasco to the next, trying to make life work as a damaged soul, all the while thinking this was the way everyone lived. 

It's a kind of denial.  Trapped in a perpetual state of infancy- we the abused are simply children.  We really don't know any better. 

But...I woke up, looked around, smelled the shit, and realised...I wanted to grow up; if not to be a part of humanity again, then to at least contribute something of value, some account of my history, the abuse, and some perspective to share with others who may suffer similarly, the medical profession, whatever. 

And part of growing up is taking a look at our language.

Using expressions like 'following dreams' etc...you know the ones I'm talking about; 'don't sweat the small stuff', etc...

This kind of language is vague and ephemeral, and keeps you trapped in your infancy.  To grow up- one must speak like an adult. 

And then act like one. 

I'm not sure many of the men in my family did this.  Skipping one generation, for the most part, I am the latest in a long line of losers, failures, and bastards. 

In order to do something about this, seeing it in myself and changing it, I need to use this STRONG language.

Not get caught up in it- there is no point saying I am still a 'bastard' for I know from experience this keeps you in the prison.  The key to the cell door is acknowledging the pattern of behaviour, and changing it. 

That is my issue with new age stuff; we all know about the power of intention, and all that folderol. 

But anyone who has spent any degree of time on the planet with their eyes open knows that there is a lot more to life than that.

To be a human being takes a lot of very hard work, in most cases. So the new age talk- simply doesn't cut it.

It keeps us asleep. 

We hear that stuff about making dreams come true, we quit our jobs, and go off into the ether, and we wait for the power of prayer to bring us what we want.  We wait on the universe. Or god, or whatever, and we wait, and we wait...

until we realise...

we actually have to be god. 

Do it ourselves. 

 

So...there will be no more 'secrets' about the power of intention and the manifesting of dreams...

no more conversations with god...

 

there will be a only one 'conversation with me'.

Myself and I.  However the fuck many there are inside me.  

The crap stops here. 

The legacy of shitty behaviour ends with me. 

I have no children, so it really does.

I can't speak for my brother, & his children, but...

well, that is his business.

For me?

The words- direct language- to help me build a bridge from my crappy heritage, to a new world. 

A world built not on bullshit...


But on Truth.


& the truth is...



Do better. 


There is no option; it's no longer a choice, or a hobby...



It's a fact of life; do better, or die.


Men, women, all humanity...


'simply do better'. 




'make it so...'