Iggy??? This is John...

I dreamed last night I was at an Iggy Pop show with this lady.

I really liked her...she was kind of familiar, kind of not.

She was like an angel.


Anyway...the show ended, the lights came up, Iggy went home, and I realised...

I was teetering on this huge thing. Like...it was like one of those...you know those big dividers? They are steel framed...but they are furry on both sides...you see them in schools, and offices. I think they divide work spaces...you can pin your little pictures of whatnot on them.


Anyway...This thing was about...i'd say 50-60 feet high, this divider, overlooking the stage.

& I was teetering on top of it.

Finally...I lost my balance. I lost my shit and tumbled to my death.

Kiss yr ass goodbye, johnny; it's curtains for you.



I woke up, in a hospital...& there was no one there.

I was alone. It's cool. I knew I'd be OK.

This place had nothing to do with god or heaven, any of that crap...this was a caring, healing place. A kind, loving gentle place, nothing to do with god's horrors or any of the trauma he inflicts on us.

This was...frankly? It was a beautiful place.



Life is an Iggy show...you enjoy it...ideally with a loved one...& when he ends, I end...


& i will wake up alone in a hospital. Loved by this beautiful...presence.


This light.

The new agers say when you die, your soul goes to a hospital, where it is cleansed, and all the trauma you had to go through is washed away.



I can dig that.

I never could before...but I kinda like the idea now.


I have taken every horror god has thrown at me, & survived.


I am going to a place that is much nicer than anything that abusive father has put me through.



I am going to a place of peace, wonder, love and light.

A place where none of gods priests can rape or torture me.


I am going into the light one day...I just know it.

Somewhere that brute cannot get me anymore.


One day...I'm going back into that light.

But not yet...


Not quite yet...